You Are Who God Says You Are
Dear Friends,
All her life Leah had been used to being compared with her younger, prettier sister. She built an invisible wall around herself, pretending the things people said about her didn't affect her at all, but really each comment was a wound that stung to the very core of her being. From childhood, through adolescence and on into adulthood, people had told her she was plain, awkward, reserved and dull. She had heard it so many times that she believed it herself, she believed that this was who she was. I just wish I was more like my sister, Rachel, she often thought. If only I was lovely, beautiful, witty, charming, and someone who people loved to be around.
When the sisters first met their cousin, Jacob, it was obvious to Leah that he would prefer Rachel to herself. Who wouldn't? He only had eyes for Rachel and barely spoke to Leah except out of courtesy. He soon fell deeply in love with Rachel and their marriage was arranged.
Now, Leah had a dream that one day a man would come into her life who would love her with all his heart, who would look at her the way Jacob looked at Rachel. She would be his first choice of wife and they would live happily ever after.
However, it was not to be. That dream died the day before Rachel's wedding when their father came to speak to her. His plan was to deceive Jacob into marrying Leah. After all, he told her, she'd never marry because who would marry a woman such as her, and if he didn't do this he'd never get her off his hands. There was nothing Leah could do except do as he bid her, and so, with her heart broken, she became married to a man who didn't love her, who never would love her because he loved another woman, her sister. (You can find the story of Rachel and Leah in Genesis 29, my account has included just a dash of imagination!)
To a small degree I can relate to how Leah felt. One of the first times I remember being compared with another was when I was 8 years old and my family moved to Buxted, a small country village. We lived next door to an old gentleman and my mum would often clean his home for him and we would pop in and see him or talk to him over the garden fence almost daily. He gave my sister and me "titles",for my sister "The Queen of Buxted" and for me "The Duchess". I remember how this hurt me at the time, because even as a young child, I knew that being the older sister I should be "Queen", I was aware the message he was giving me (not in so many words) was that my sister was more likeable, that I just wasn't nice enough or good enough or had the right qualities to be made "Queen".
Maybe your heart resonates with Leah. Perhaps you're used to being compared with others and maybe you've been told so many times that you're ugly, you're fat, you're stupid, you're hopeless, you're a failure, you're no good, you're dull or you're unloveable. Perhaps you've even begun to believe those things for yourself. The more we hear these things, the stronger the hold they have over us and in the end they become our truth, our perception of who we are.
As I was preparing to write this I felt God say to me, you may not have been the Queen of Buxted but you are my child, I am your King, you are a daughter of mine and as such you are a princess. These words clothed me with dignity and soothed my soul. This is my identity, this is who I really am and it is an everlasting identity. The things God says is not to make one person better than another, he doesn't raise one person up and put down another, he has no favourites and that's good news for all of us. What others have said about you and me count for nothing, all that matters is what God says about us. And God says you are his child, you are a son or daughter of the King and as such you are a prince or princess. What other people say about us will pass but God's word, the only truth, will last forever. Jesus said in Matthew 24:35 "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear." (NLT) I know whose words I want to hold onto - those that God says, not others. In 1 Peter 2:9 it says about us that we "are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession." (NLT)
To Think About:
How can you let go of the negative and wrong things said to you and about you which have shaped how you see yourself?
Replace the lies with God's truth. Meditate on verses such as the ones mentioned earlier and any of the following: 1 John 3:1; Ephesians 1:3-4, 2:10, 4:24; Romans 8:17 and 2 Corinthians 5:17. Ask God to help you make the journey from believing them in your head to really knowing them with your heart.
Use words of affirmation to help others see themselves as God sees them.
Vicki
All her life Leah had been used to being compared with her younger, prettier sister. She built an invisible wall around herself, pretending the things people said about her didn't affect her at all, but really each comment was a wound that stung to the very core of her being. From childhood, through adolescence and on into adulthood, people had told her she was plain, awkward, reserved and dull. She had heard it so many times that she believed it herself, she believed that this was who she was. I just wish I was more like my sister, Rachel, she often thought. If only I was lovely, beautiful, witty, charming, and someone who people loved to be around.
When the sisters first met their cousin, Jacob, it was obvious to Leah that he would prefer Rachel to herself. Who wouldn't? He only had eyes for Rachel and barely spoke to Leah except out of courtesy. He soon fell deeply in love with Rachel and their marriage was arranged.
Now, Leah had a dream that one day a man would come into her life who would love her with all his heart, who would look at her the way Jacob looked at Rachel. She would be his first choice of wife and they would live happily ever after.
However, it was not to be. That dream died the day before Rachel's wedding when their father came to speak to her. His plan was to deceive Jacob into marrying Leah. After all, he told her, she'd never marry because who would marry a woman such as her, and if he didn't do this he'd never get her off his hands. There was nothing Leah could do except do as he bid her, and so, with her heart broken, she became married to a man who didn't love her, who never would love her because he loved another woman, her sister. (You can find the story of Rachel and Leah in Genesis 29, my account has included just a dash of imagination!)
To a small degree I can relate to how Leah felt. One of the first times I remember being compared with another was when I was 8 years old and my family moved to Buxted, a small country village. We lived next door to an old gentleman and my mum would often clean his home for him and we would pop in and see him or talk to him over the garden fence almost daily. He gave my sister and me "titles",for my sister "The Queen of Buxted" and for me "The Duchess". I remember how this hurt me at the time, because even as a young child, I knew that being the older sister I should be "Queen", I was aware the message he was giving me (not in so many words) was that my sister was more likeable, that I just wasn't nice enough or good enough or had the right qualities to be made "Queen".
Maybe your heart resonates with Leah. Perhaps you're used to being compared with others and maybe you've been told so many times that you're ugly, you're fat, you're stupid, you're hopeless, you're a failure, you're no good, you're dull or you're unloveable. Perhaps you've even begun to believe those things for yourself. The more we hear these things, the stronger the hold they have over us and in the end they become our truth, our perception of who we are.
As I was preparing to write this I felt God say to me, you may not have been the Queen of Buxted but you are my child, I am your King, you are a daughter of mine and as such you are a princess. These words clothed me with dignity and soothed my soul. This is my identity, this is who I really am and it is an everlasting identity. The things God says is not to make one person better than another, he doesn't raise one person up and put down another, he has no favourites and that's good news for all of us. What others have said about you and me count for nothing, all that matters is what God says about us. And God says you are his child, you are a son or daughter of the King and as such you are a prince or princess. What other people say about us will pass but God's word, the only truth, will last forever. Jesus said in Matthew 24:35 "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear." (NLT) I know whose words I want to hold onto - those that God says, not others. In 1 Peter 2:9 it says about us that we "are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession." (NLT)
To Think About:
How can you let go of the negative and wrong things said to you and about you which have shaped how you see yourself?
Replace the lies with God's truth. Meditate on verses such as the ones mentioned earlier and any of the following: 1 John 3:1; Ephesians 1:3-4, 2:10, 4:24; Romans 8:17 and 2 Corinthians 5:17. Ask God to help you make the journey from believing them in your head to really knowing them with your heart.
Use words of affirmation to help others see themselves as God sees them.
Vicki
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