Taming The Tongue

Dear Friends,

We have recently had two small additions to our family - two fluffy bunnies!  Jess' bunny is Bugsy, (on the left) a dwarf lionhead rabbit who was about 10 months old when she bought him.  He is an indoor bunny and loves to be let loose in our conservatory.  He is happy to be stroked, but doesn't like to be picked up and held.  It's obvious he was greatly loved by his previous owner but I'm not sure that she held him much.  Josh's bunny is Fluff-Zilla (I take no responsibility for the name!) she is a dwarf lionhead/lop rabbit and is about 8 weeks old.  We take her out of her cage daily to hold and cuddle her so that she becomes tame.  We know this won't happen over-night, it will take time, determination and perseverance.  Bugsy, being an older rabbit, will be much harder to tame.

Trying to tame these bunnies reminded me of James writing in his letter (in chapter 3) about taming the tongue.

I don't know about you, but I find that I'm not always using my words in a way that I would like to. There are times when, instead of thanking Jason, my husband, for doing something for me, I open my mouth and criticise him for not doing it in the way I would like it done.  There are times, when in a cross moment, I will raise my voice at my children and speak unkindly to them or speak more harshly to them than is necessary.  There have been times when I have listened to gossip, rather than refuse to be a part of it, and have even been an instrument for passing it on.  As Christians we can be quite good at excusing gossip, reasoning that we are only sharing it because we care so much about the person or reasoning that we are passing it on in the guise of a prayer request.  The truth is that there is no good reason for indulging in gossip and we need to stay well away from it.

I'm not proud of the way I've used my words at times.  I, we, can apologise after the fact, but we can never take our words back once they have been uttered.  The damage, the harm, the destruction has already been done.  That's why James likens the damage an uncontrolled tongue does with a fire that's out of control: "It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that." James 3:5 (The Message)  Think of the destruction an uncontrolled fire and an uncontrolled tongue can cause.

There's poison in the tongue, James 3:8b says the tongue "is restless and evil, full of deadly poison." (NLT)  Small doses of poison given to others causes them harm and pain, the constant administering of poison or a large dose of poison brings death - it kills a person's self-worth, their spirit, their joy, their hope, their confidence, their reputation.

I don't want to harm others with my words, I don't want to tear them down, criticise them, judge them, verbally abuse them, react angrily or with impatience, gossip etc.  I want to use my words to praise and glorify God, to build others up and encourage them, to support them, to bring them hope and joy through the things I say.  I want the words that I speak to be full of love and honouring to God, the one I represent.  In Ephesians 4:29 it says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (NIV)

But, it's going to take time, and it's going to take more than just perseverance and determination on my part to tame my tongue because as it says in James 3:8a  "but no one can tame the tongue." (NLT)  So does that mean I just give up?  That I just accept that there's going to be inconsistencies with my speech and the way I use my words?  No, thank God, he's given me one who has the power to help me control my tongue - the Holy Spirit.  He's the one who produces self-control (Galatians 5:23) in me.  I know that as I work with him, rather than in opposition to him, then more and more my words will be ones that bless others.

I can also pray and ask God to put a guard over my mouth so that what comes out of it is pleasing to him.  I can ask him to show me when I have got it wrong so that I can limit the damage and I can ask him to give me loving and encouraging words that I can speak into the lives of others.

To Think About:
Reflect on this past week and ask God to bring to your mind situations where you have used your words in the wrong way.  What does he want you to do about this?  (It may or may not be appropriate to ask forgiveness of someone, but you can always ask God for his forgiveness which he offers us freely.)

Starting from today, what practical things can you do, with the aid of his Holy Spirit, to help you to control your tongue?

Over the coming week, ask God to show you someone who would benefit from some encouraging, positive words.  It may be in a conversation with them face-to-face, a phone conversation, an email, a note in the post.

Vicki


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