Demonstrating God's Grace Rather Than Harbouring A Critical Attitude
Dear Friends,
I mentioned in my last blog that part of perfectionism involves aiming for impossibly high standards and then being critical and judgemental when I don't meet those standards.
In my perfectionism I also expected others to meet these same high standards, which also meant (and this is not an easy thing to admit to) that I had a critical and judgemental attitude towards others if they failed to meet those standards. At the time I wasn't aware of these wrong attitudes until God revealed the truth to me. God showed me how critical I was when others didn't live up to my human interpretation of what makes a "good (or perfect)" Christian. And he showed me how unlike Jesus I was being.
When the M.E was at its worst I was unable to get out to many church meetings. Now, prior to this I had been judgemental of others when they didn't attend the meetings I thought they should be at. God said to me - how would I feel right now, if others judged my non-appearance at meetings in the same way I had been judging them, how would I feel about being misunderstood because they didn't know the reason for my absence, all they knew was that I wasn't there as I "should" be. You see, that was what I had been doing, judging and criticising them without knowing their circumstances, or what was currently going on in their life, the pains, hurts, struggles they were dealing with. When, in my pride, I had appointed myself judge when I had no right whatsoever to be.
Like I said, God, in his grace, showed me I was wrong, that it was not my place to criticise or act as judge. That God alone has the authority to judge us. In James 4:12 we read "God
alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbour?" (NLT) and also in Romans 14:10-13a 10 So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For the Scriptures say, “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’” 12 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. 13 So let’s stop condemning each other. (NLT)
I mentioned in my last blog that part of perfectionism involves aiming for impossibly high standards and then being critical and judgemental when I don't meet those standards.
In my perfectionism I also expected others to meet these same high standards, which also meant (and this is not an easy thing to admit to) that I had a critical and judgemental attitude towards others if they failed to meet those standards. At the time I wasn't aware of these wrong attitudes until God revealed the truth to me. God showed me how critical I was when others didn't live up to my human interpretation of what makes a "good (or perfect)" Christian. And he showed me how unlike Jesus I was being.
When the M.E was at its worst I was unable to get out to many church meetings. Now, prior to this I had been judgemental of others when they didn't attend the meetings I thought they should be at. God said to me - how would I feel right now, if others judged my non-appearance at meetings in the same way I had been judging them, how would I feel about being misunderstood because they didn't know the reason for my absence, all they knew was that I wasn't there as I "should" be. You see, that was what I had been doing, judging and criticising them without knowing their circumstances, or what was currently going on in their life, the pains, hurts, struggles they were dealing with. When, in my pride, I had appointed myself judge when I had no right whatsoever to be.
Like I said, God, in his grace, showed me I was wrong, that it was not my place to criticise or act as judge. That God alone has the authority to judge us. In James 4:12 we read "God
alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbour?" (NLT) and also in Romans 14:10-13a 10 So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For the Scriptures say, “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’” 12 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. 13 So let’s stop condemning each other. (NLT)
God showed me how similar I was, in my perfectionism, to the older son in The Parable of the Prodigal Son, which is found in Luke 15:11-32. I was living within the rules and regulations I had created and expected others to do the same. Then was critical when they were not more like me. I showed no-one the grace, mercy and love which God has extended towards me, and was living, bound my by perfectionism, unable to enjoy all that God had given me.
The reason God pointed out to me where I was wrong was not to tear me down, not to punish me, but to give me the opportunity to change my heart, to allow him to transform me. So that I might better reflect the likeness of his Son, Jesus. If you're familiar with the mirrors at fairground attractions - the ones that distort your image in various ways, such as to give you a really long neck, or look very short and wide - you'll know they don't give a good reflection or representation of what you actually look like. For that, you need an ordinary glass mirror. God is transforming me and you so that others will see a clear and true, rather than a distorted reflection, of Jesus.
God changed my heart and dealt with my critical, judgemental attitude so that I am now more compassionate towards others and show them the same grace and mercy that God has shown me, so that I am more accepting of others ( "Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory." Romans 15:7 NLT) and so I reflect the love of Jesus to them and for them. (A love such is described in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a)
My prayer is that I will become more and more open to the Holy Spirit growing his fruit in me: "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT). And that I will not return to living with a critical, judgemental attitude.
To Think About:
Read The Parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32. Who do you most identify with?
Are you critical or judgemental of others and if so why do you think that may be?
Have you grasped for yourself just how much God loves and has forgiven you? Does that affect your attitude towards others?
What kind of a reflection of Jesus are you showing others?
Vicki
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