National Self-Care Week

Dear Friends,

Self-Care
Photo by bruce mars from Pexels

Were you aware it was National Self-Care Week this week? I only realised it myself when I was scrolling my twitter feed a few days back. But it got me thinking. What does self-care mean from a Christian's point of view, or at least from my point of view as a Christian? Should a Christian even practice self-care? Shouldn't my life be spent caring for the needs of others not taking care of number one?

Well, here are some of my thoughts. 

I believe that unless we first practice and incorporate self-care into our daily lives we will not be able to care for anyone else. The Bible tells us:

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)

Everything we have has been given to us by God and this means we have a responsibility to care for all that he has given us, which includes ourselves - body, mind and soul. God created us: 

I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well. 

Psalm 139:14 (AMP)

God chose us to be part of his family and he loves us. He expects us to take care of what he cares about. 

So, in what ways can I practice self-care? So many of us today struggle with depression, anxiety, stress, burnout etc. These things are made worse for some of us because we have neglected to care properly for ourselves. When we do exercise self-care then we can help to improve our mental health. 

1. For me, self-care begins with a close relationship with God, my Heavenly Father. 
Making sure that he has first place in my life, just as Jesus said in those first verses I mentioned. When he is first in my life, then everything else falls into place. Self-care begins by focusing my attention on him. Asking him to help me set healthy boundaries in my life. Following his leading. Spending time with him. I know for my own well-being I need to have a regular time of being alone with him and his Word. This takes time and effort, especially to establish this routine in the beginning, but I am finding that the more I spend time with him and reading the Bible, the more I want to spend time with him.

This doesn't mean that when this is in place, I will no longer have struggles. It doesn't mean that I am automatically healthy in body and mind. What it does mean is that I am in a strong starting position to face whatever challenges come my way.

2. Be honest about my emotions.

It's important for each of us to be able to share how we're really feeling, rather than bottling up our feelings deep inside where they can do the most damage. I don't mean that we whinge and complain to anyone who will listen. What I do mean is that we're honest about when we're struggling and when we're dealing with difficult emotions, and we exercise wisdom as to who we share with. I share a lot of how I'm feeling with God. There is no one quite like him when it comes to someone who really knows how to listen with compassion, love and understanding. Just read some of the psalms and you'll find plenty of evidence of people, like David, who was totally open and honest with God. 

God has also blessed me with some amazing relationships, both family and friends. People who provide a shoulder to cry on, who pray for me, who support me and continue to love me, and who I am also there for in return.

3. Renew my mind.

We have probably believed some lies for a very long time and these have shaped our thinking which then affects how we feel (our emotions) and leads us to behave in certain unhealthy ways. They can lead to depressive thinking, overwhelming anxiety, panic attacks etc. In order to self-care, we need to have our mind renewed. We need to reject the old unhealthy way of thinking and embrace the truth. This will have a positive effect on our emotions and, in turn, will lead to changed behaviour. However, we cannot renew our minds on our own. 

Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 (NLT)

The Extended Bible puts it this way:

Do not be ·shaped by [conformed to; pressed into a mould by] this ·world [age]; instead be ·changed within [transformed] by ·a new way of thinking [or changing the way you think; the renewing of your mind]. Then you will be able to ·decide [discern; test and approve] what ·God wants for you [is God’s will]; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.

We need God's help if we are to conquer those wrong thoughts which have such a stronghold on us.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NIV)

When we recognise that our minds are believing a lie and taking us down the wrong path, we need to reject the lie and replace it with the truth. There is only one truth and that's God's truth and his truth sets us free to live as he intended.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32 (NLT)

This won't be easy for some of us. We have believed some lies since childhood, but it is possible to overcome them. We can overcome because in Christ we have the victory.

To replace the lies with the truth takes us back to my first point. We can't do this until we know the truth for ourselves. And we can't know the truth until we spend time with God and in his Word. When you read something in his Word which helps you to recognise and reject a lie you have believed, can I encourage you to write that truth out - in your journal, on a piece of card, on your phone, anywhere you will have access to it on a regular basis so that you can remind yourself of it whenever the Devil comes to attack your mind with his lies.

4. Pray a Breath Prayer.

These are something that I've only come across in the past year or so, yet they have been practised for centuries. I've been using one I read about in Brennan Manning's book, "The Furious Longing of God". This particular one is "Abba, I belong to you." The idea is to take a slow, deep breath in and out as you pray. (If you're interested in knowing more about breath prayer you can search online. 24-7 Prayer's blog is a great resource as it has many articles and information on the subject of prayer. Click here for their article on breath prayer.) 

When we are stressed or anxious our breathing can quicken and become shallow. Our minds fill with all kinds of worrying, anxious, negative thoughts. Breath prayers counteract this by helping us to deliberately take slow, deep breaths. They also help because instead of focusing on what is causing us to feel worried or anxious, we turn our focus to God. They can restore our peace of mind. They are prayers we can pray at any moment of the day or night. 

There are many more things we can do to self-care, but I want to finish with just one more suggestion which I believe is helpful for us - body, mind and soul - and that is:

5. Take Time-Out.

Do something you enjoy doing. Something which brings you pleasure. Just for the fun of it. All too often we run ourselves ragged trying to do it all and be it all for all people. Which is impossible, right?! Sometimes the simplest things can be the best, and such as chatting on the phone, laughing with a friend, reading a book, completing a jigsaw puzzle, drinking a mug of hot chocolate, taking a bubble bath, going for a walk etc. When was the last time you did something for yourself?

Time-Out may mean letting go of a relationship which is draining you or having some other negative effect on you. This isn't easy, but just keep in mind that there are other relationships which need your time and energy yet are also mutually beneficial.

Keep space in your diary just to do nothing. (I was talking to my sister on exactly this earlier in the week.) It's something I've been trying to implement for some time now. We don't need to fill every waking moment with purposeful activity. Perhaps consider which activities are not so essential in this season of life. It can also be good to mix up a variety of activities in your week so that you include some which take more physical energy and don't take much mental energy, with other activities which require more mental energy but less physical energy.

When we care for self God's way we are in a much better place to care for others.
The best way we can truly self-care is by ensuring God is at the centre of our life and keep him there.

To Think About:
Have you neglected your relationship with God? What can you do to draw closer to God and keep him at the centre of your life?

What stops you from being honest about your feelings with God or with others? Can you start being more open with God and with particular people he has placed in your life who can help to share the load?

Will you allow God to change the way you think? Over the coming week will you ask him to reveal to you the lies you have been believing, the ones that have a stronghold on you and ask him to help you to demolish them with his truth?

When you notice your mind going down a wrong track would you speak out a breath prayer to help draw your attention back to God?

What could you do for yourself one day this week? Not because you have to but because you would like to.

Vicki

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