Where Do You Go For Affirmation?

Dear Friends,

Where do you go for affirmation?

We all want to be loved, accepted and affirmed. We look for it in all kinds of places, yet there's only one place it can be found and that place is in God. It's in relationship with him that we know we are unconditionally loved, accepted and approved. 

Our search for significance, security and self-worth is found in knowing who we are and whose we are. Who are we? We are children of God. He has adopted us into his family. He has chosen us. He loves us. He approves of us.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. 5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT)

Whose are we? We are God's, we belong to him. Not only did he created us, he also paid a high price for us. We are precious to him.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)

When we know what God thinks of us, then we are free to be who God has made us to be. His opinion of us is the only one which really matters.

I don't think I really began to understand this until I was in my thirties and I'm still discovering more of what it truly means to be unconditionally loved and accepted by God.

In the past, I would look for affirmation from others around me - my parents, my sister, my husband, my peers. But they could never give me what I needed, just as I could never give them what they need. Only God can meet that need.

Yet there are still times when I make the mistake of looking to others for affirmation instead of going to God. In a conversation with a friend not so long back, I shared with them about what I felt was God's calling on my life. It wasn't until later that I realised I'd been hoping they'd affirm me in it and God gently reminded me that I didn't need their affirmation because he'd already given it.

Social media is another place I've subconsciously sought affirmation. How many 'likes' will I get for my updated status? Who will comment? Then, if there are few or no likes I start to wonder what's wrong with me? How can I change to get more likes? What will make people like me more? If a mutual acquaintance 'likes' and comments on a friend's status and not on mine it feeds my insecurities about myself. It makes me question my worth and I wonder if I'm just not good enough.

When I look for affirmation from anywhere but God, I try to be someone I'm not, I bend myself out of shape to become what I think others want me to be. I loose myself in the process. When I don't receive from them what I'm looking for I get disappointed, discouraged and frustrated.

When I go to my Father God, the one who loves me with an everlasting love, who knows me inside and out, who has accepted me into his family, I receive the affirmation my heart is seeking for. My peace is restored and I am encouraged to be exactly who he has created me to be. I realise afresh that when I am affirmed by him I have no need to look for it elsewhere. I find my security, significance and self-worth in him.

Oh dear friend, can I encourage you to do the same. Rather than being caught up on what others may or may not think of you, rather than trying to be someone you're not, go to your Heavenly Father who always speaks the truth. Who tells you, you are loved, you are chosen, you belong to him and you are special.

To Think About:
Where have you or do you go for affirmation? What happens when you don't receive the affirmation your heart is seeking for?

Do you (will you) go to God for affirmation? What is the result when you do so? 

In what ways does it make a difference to your life knowing you are affirmed by God?

Vicki

If  what you read was of interest to you, then you may like to know that my book "Dear Friend...52 Weekly Devotions to Encourage, Challenge and Inspire" is available to buy from Amazon. (Its content is material adapted from previous blog posts.) To learn more, click on the link below:

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