Why Now, God?

Dear Friends,

While trying to come to terms with the diagnosis that I was suffering with M.E I can remember asking God "Why now?"  Why now when I'm in the early years of marriage to Jason and we are still adjusting to the relationship, why now when I'm busy with church activities, why now when, in my 20s, I should be fit and healthy and able to go out to work and make a financial contribution to our marriage.  Now is just not a good time to have to deal with a long term illness.

I didn't realise it at the time but what I was actually saying to God was: "You know what, you've got it wrong, I shouldn't be ill now, you've made a mistake and I'm going to tell you why you're wrong."  I thought I knew what was best for my life, surely I knew better than God what I needed and when I needed it.  I had forgotten that God is my Creator and I am his created one, that he is the potter and I am the clay.  "And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.  We are the clay, and you are the potter.  We all are formed by your hand." Isaiah 64:8 (NLT) 
 
God used the example of a potter and clay to say this to Jeremiah: "'Up on your feet! Go to the potter’s house. When you get there, I’ll tell you what I have to say.'  So I went to the potter’s house, and sure enough, the potter was there, working away at his wheel. Whenever the pot the potter was working on turned out badly, as sometimes happens when you are working with clay, the potter would simply start over and use the same clay to make another pot.  Then God’s Message came to me: 'Can’t I do just as this potter does, people of Israel?' God’s Decree! 'Watch this potter. In the same way that this potter works his clay, I work on you, people of Israel.'" Jeremiah 18:1-6 (The Message)
 

God is the potter and you and I are the clay.  God, the potter, shapes us according to his plan and even before he begins shaping he knows his intended outcome.  He has a purpose for each of us and so shapes and reshapes us using what he wants to make us fit for that purpose.  He knows what is best for us because he created us and because he loves us.  So he works on us, moulding, bending, shaping and transforming.

 

One day God answered my "Why now?" with a question for me.  He said if not now, then when?  As I considered this question of when (in my opinion) it would be a good time, God helped me to understand that there is never a 'good time' to face a long term illness.  Just as there is never a good time for your husband to say he doesn't love you anymore and for him to walk out on you, there's never a good time to be told the cancer which you thought was in remission has returned, there's never a good time for your teenage daughter to come home after school one day and tell you she's pregnant, there's never a good time to face bankruptcy, there's never a good time to face any kind of trial or difficulty.  

 

God has shown me that although there is never a good time to go through difficulty, that there is a right time to go through it and that right time is known only to God.  He's the one who knows the end from the beginning and he's the one who holds time in his hands.  God says "'I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.  I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’" Isaiah 46:10 (NIV)  When I know the truth that God is love and he loves me, that he is good and wants only the best for me, that he has everything under control, then I can begin to put my trust in him, I can rest in him knowing that if God is allowing me to go through this difficult trial then it is the right time for me to go through it, even if I never understand why. I can have the security of knowing that I will never have to go through it alone, he will be with me every step of the way.  Not only can I lean on his promise to be with me, I know that he will also give me the strength and grace I need to be an overcomer.

If you know and love God, then whatever trial you are going through has first been Father-filtered by him.  What do I mean by that?  I mean that it has passed through the loving hands of God our Father who knows just how much we can handle, if only we will place ourselves in his loving care. 

 

A better question for me to ask God is not "Why now?" but "What now?"  During the trial how can I glorify God? How do I live in such a way so as to not waste the experience?  It doesn't mean I'm resigned to the difficult situation, that I lose hope of life ever changing, it does, however, mean that I accept it. I accept that God knows what he's doing even if I don't know.  It means I willingly hand over the control of my life to him and I trust him with everything. Only when I understand that God loves me, that he wants the best for me, that his purpose is not to bring me down but to build me up, am I able to accept that all that comes into my life, whether good or bad, comes just at the right time. 

To Think About: 
If you're in the midst of a trial why not tell God everything, your thoughts and your feelings, be completely honest with him.  By doing so, you will be opening up an opportunity for him to reveal himself to you in a deeper way, you will connect with him in a way that perhaps you've never known before.

What have you learned about yourself and about God during a trial or when you've looked back over it?

Have you come to the point when you can say to God "What now?"

During the coming week take time to meditate on 1 Peter 1:6-7 "So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." (NLT)

Vicki