Healthy Boundaries
Dear Friends,
As parents, Jason and I are responsible for our children's well-being. That's why we, like many parents, set boundaries for our children. One of those boundaries is the time they are to go to bed. They sometimes moan that everyone else their age goes to bed much later than they do. My response to that is that I'm not responsible for other children, but I am responsible for them and that means setting an age appropriate bedtime. I believe that it's important for their health and for them to get a good night's sleep so that they can concentrate in their classes. They may not agree with me, but I don't do this to be unfair or mean or because I don't care, in fact the opposite is true, I love them and want the best for them.
I remember Josh saying when he reached the age of 15, that now he was 15 he could watch 15 rated films. We talked about it and I explained that, while in the eyes of the law he is allowed to watch these films, he is still under Jason's and my responsibility and care, so if we feel that a certain film will be harmful to his soul and mind, then we will decide that he is not to watch it. Again, he may not see it from that perspective, he may think we are unfair and unreasonable, and are looking to make his life miserable, whereas the truth is that we are looking out for him and that we have good reasons for the boundaries we set. God has placed our children in our care and we are accountable to him for our parenting.
God, as our heavenly father, parents each one of us in the same way. He sets boundaries for us, such as the rules and standards that we are to live by. He has made it clear in his word what his boundaries are in areas such as marriage, parenting, work ethic, finance etc. Like children, we sometimes rebel against these boundaries, we think we know best, we think God's unfair, that he's being deliberately mean, taking the joy out of everything. These are not the reasons God has set boundaries. God has set these boundaries because he loves and cares about us, he wants what is good for us and he wants us to enjoy the best possible life within the limits he sets, and these limits are not narrow.
Let's take a moment to look at the beginning of the bible with Adam and Eve. They are the only people to have known a perfect world, heaven on earth. God placed them in a wonderful garden and gave them the responsibility to take care of his creation. They had an incredible relationship with God with no barriers. There was a wonderful harmony. God had given them everything they could ever need and the boundaries he set were wide. "15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. 16 But the Lord God warned him, 'You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.'" Genesis 2:15-17 (NLT) However, they chose to cross the boundary set by God, they became dissatisfied with what they had, they thought they knew better than God, they thought he was being unfair and they chose to do the one thing God had told them not to do. "6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves." Genesis 3:6-7 (NLT)
Their choice to disobey God and cross the boundary led to serious consequences. No longer was their world perfect, sin and death had been introduced to their world, their relationship with God was broken, their relationship with each other was damaged and creation was affected.
Let's be honest here - there have been times when we can see ourselves, our attitudes and actions, in Adam and Eve. Haven't there been times when we felt we knew better than God, we tell ourselves we deserve the best, our life is our own therefore it's up to us to set our own boundaries, we tell ourselves we're not hurting anyone. If we listen to these kind of thoughts for too long then our choice to disobey is quick to follow. However, we then have to face the serious consequences: a broken relationship with God, damaged relationships with others, pain, hurt, guilt and the death of our peace and joy.
Living within the boundaries set for us by God is so much better for us. It is within his boundaries that we experience a blessed life and the life that God intends us to enjoy. We are reconciled to God and to others, there is love, joy, hope, peace and purpose. They are the consequences of keeping within God's boundaries. In John 10:10 Jesus says "The thief [the devil] comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." (Amp) That's the life that God has prepared for those who keep inside the boundaries he has set for us. It's a mistake and a lie of the devil to think that this kind of life can be enjoyed and experienced outside of God's boundaries.
We all at times have crossed God's boundaries, but the way back is simple, it's to recognise our sin, come before God and confess it to him. God has promised to forgive us and he welcomes us back in to his presence. 1 John 1:9 tells us that "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." (NLT)
When we really believe that God, our heavenly father, has provided us with these boundaries because he loves us and wants us to experience his best for us, then the choice of where we will live our lives - within or outside of his boundaries - becomes easier.
To Think About:
When have you chosen to cross the boundaries God has set for you and what have been the consequences to this decision?
Consider a time when you chose to keep inside the boundaries God has set for you. What have been the consequences of this?
What part do you think your attitude towards God has to play in how you respond to God's boundaries?
Vicki
As parents, Jason and I are responsible for our children's well-being. That's why we, like many parents, set boundaries for our children. One of those boundaries is the time they are to go to bed. They sometimes moan that everyone else their age goes to bed much later than they do. My response to that is that I'm not responsible for other children, but I am responsible for them and that means setting an age appropriate bedtime. I believe that it's important for their health and for them to get a good night's sleep so that they can concentrate in their classes. They may not agree with me, but I don't do this to be unfair or mean or because I don't care, in fact the opposite is true, I love them and want the best for them.
I remember Josh saying when he reached the age of 15, that now he was 15 he could watch 15 rated films. We talked about it and I explained that, while in the eyes of the law he is allowed to watch these films, he is still under Jason's and my responsibility and care, so if we feel that a certain film will be harmful to his soul and mind, then we will decide that he is not to watch it. Again, he may not see it from that perspective, he may think we are unfair and unreasonable, and are looking to make his life miserable, whereas the truth is that we are looking out for him and that we have good reasons for the boundaries we set. God has placed our children in our care and we are accountable to him for our parenting.
God, as our heavenly father, parents each one of us in the same way. He sets boundaries for us, such as the rules and standards that we are to live by. He has made it clear in his word what his boundaries are in areas such as marriage, parenting, work ethic, finance etc. Like children, we sometimes rebel against these boundaries, we think we know best, we think God's unfair, that he's being deliberately mean, taking the joy out of everything. These are not the reasons God has set boundaries. God has set these boundaries because he loves and cares about us, he wants what is good for us and he wants us to enjoy the best possible life within the limits he sets, and these limits are not narrow.
Let's take a moment to look at the beginning of the bible with Adam and Eve. They are the only people to have known a perfect world, heaven on earth. God placed them in a wonderful garden and gave them the responsibility to take care of his creation. They had an incredible relationship with God with no barriers. There was a wonderful harmony. God had given them everything they could ever need and the boundaries he set were wide. "15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. 16 But the Lord God warned him, 'You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.'" Genesis 2:15-17 (NLT) However, they chose to cross the boundary set by God, they became dissatisfied with what they had, they thought they knew better than God, they thought he was being unfair and they chose to do the one thing God had told them not to do. "6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves." Genesis 3:6-7 (NLT)
Their choice to disobey God and cross the boundary led to serious consequences. No longer was their world perfect, sin and death had been introduced to their world, their relationship with God was broken, their relationship with each other was damaged and creation was affected.
Let's be honest here - there have been times when we can see ourselves, our attitudes and actions, in Adam and Eve. Haven't there been times when we felt we knew better than God, we tell ourselves we deserve the best, our life is our own therefore it's up to us to set our own boundaries, we tell ourselves we're not hurting anyone. If we listen to these kind of thoughts for too long then our choice to disobey is quick to follow. However, we then have to face the serious consequences: a broken relationship with God, damaged relationships with others, pain, hurt, guilt and the death of our peace and joy.
Living within the boundaries set for us by God is so much better for us. It is within his boundaries that we experience a blessed life and the life that God intends us to enjoy. We are reconciled to God and to others, there is love, joy, hope, peace and purpose. They are the consequences of keeping within God's boundaries. In John 10:10 Jesus says "The thief [the devil] comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." (Amp) That's the life that God has prepared for those who keep inside the boundaries he has set for us. It's a mistake and a lie of the devil to think that this kind of life can be enjoyed and experienced outside of God's boundaries.
We all at times have crossed God's boundaries, but the way back is simple, it's to recognise our sin, come before God and confess it to him. God has promised to forgive us and he welcomes us back in to his presence. 1 John 1:9 tells us that "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." (NLT)
When we really believe that God, our heavenly father, has provided us with these boundaries because he loves us and wants us to experience his best for us, then the choice of where we will live our lives - within or outside of his boundaries - becomes easier.
To Think About:
When have you chosen to cross the boundaries God has set for you and what have been the consequences to this decision?
Consider a time when you chose to keep inside the boundaries God has set for you. What have been the consequences of this?
What part do you think your attitude towards God has to play in how you respond to God's boundaries?
Vicki
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